I'm Alive

I’m back!! After a long couple of weeks I am able to think again.  On Saturday, March 26^th I developed a horrible headache that seemed very different to me.  I had been under a lot of stress that week so I figured stress headache.  Right?  Everyone’s had those a time or two in their life.  As the week went on I started to develop some more symptoms that were kind of worrying me, but I’m pretty hard headed.  Not to mention I work in a hospital so it really takes a lot for me to go to the doctor.  At this point I was having trouble staying awake, was very nauseous and I had no energy. The headache was now so bad that I couldn’t bend my neck towards the ground or from side to side without horrible pain.  I’m not one to call in to work so I stuck it out.  By the end of the work day on Wednesday, Marsh 30^th I was in pretty bad pain.  I thought what the heck I’ll see if I can get into the doctor tomorrow since I’m off work.  My doctor is pretty hard to get into so I thought for sure I wasn’t going to get in to see him, and I’m not a PA (physician assistant) fan.  Luckily he had a cancelation the next day at 9:45, so I left work about 30 minutes early and went to bed as soon as I got home.  I slept from 5pm that evening until 2 am Thursday morning.  When I woke up I was face down on my pillow and could barely pick my head up off of the pillow.  I really wanted to go to the emergency room at this point because I knew something was wrong, but once again I’m hard headed and knew that if I could go back to sleep I had an appointment with the doctor when I woke.
Now I’m on day 6 of the worst headache ever and I made to the doctor.  As I’m explaining my symptoms to my doctor he instantly says you need an LP (lumbar puncture) and a CT (CAT scan).  I started crying!  Maybe because I was physically drained and sick, but more than anything I didn’t want anyone sticking a needle in my spine (LP).  Working in a hospital and seeing many LP’s you just never know how it’s going to go.  I asked if there were any other options before we went to this, but he informed me that he would be a bad doctor if he didn’t order this test to be done.  This procedure needed to be performed at the hospital, so I headed to the ER.
After many tests and an LP it was confirmed that I had viral meningitis, which is exactly what my doctor thought.  The positive note to this test was that it wasn’t bacterial meningitis, which can be deadly.  The negative news was that I just had all these test ran and was poked in my spine to be told that it can’t be treated.  They were nice enough to send me home with some pain medication and something for the nausea.
The big question I’ve been asked through all of this is how did you get viral meningitis?  Well I’m not exactly sure.  It’s just a virus like any other virus you can pick up.  It’s just like getting a virus and having the flu.  I did do some reading on viral meningitis that helped me understand what exactly I had.  If you are interested in information on meningitis you can find information on the CDC’s website.
So…….after 2 long weeks I feel like a new person.  I would like to thank everyone for all their kind words and prayers. I’m so glad I feel good again!

Undivided Heart

Ezekiel 11:19-20  “I will give then an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh…and they shall be my people, and I will be their god.

I recently was honored to spend sometime with 260 women at a women’s retreat in St.Louis, MO.  It’s really cool to spend time with a group of women that love God. The retreat had 4 different sessions where women spoke about different topics that can divide your heart from a relationship with God.

Honestly, I never really looked at my heart as being divided.  I feel like I have a good relationship with God, but I see the division now.  I am divided in the sense that I have been choosing to let issues get in the way of my relationship with him.  One of the biggest issues of my division is my caring of others opinions.  I don’t want to care about what other’s think about my relationship with God, but our society has formed this opinion of what a follower of God is.  I think I struggle with this so much because I have been the one judging others who follow God.  You are either the person who has felt the judgment, the one that has done the judging or in my case both.

I’m choosing to not be divided in sharing my faith.  I enjoy sharing stories of my walk and my trials, but it’s not the easiest thing.  It is a struggle for me to put my thoughts and feelings out there.  I love to write and I love to learn, but I worry too much about how it’s perceived.  Writing this blog has helped me in many ways but has pulled me into this uncomfortable zone.   I’m a people pleaser and I don’t want to worry about what about others think of me.  I question myself on my writing and I have thought about quitting because of the worry of what others might think.   I’m sharing this struggle because this has divided me from being who I want to be.  I have heard some wonderful stories from women on how my stories have encouraged them.  I’m not saying this to be prideful at all.  My writing is for God’s glory not mine!  This just gives me encouragement to continue writing because we all go through theses struggles in life.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a believer, the issues I talk about relate to most people at sometime in their life.  So, if I can help others by sharing my stories than I’m choosing to continue writing.  I’m not going to let my pride stand in the way.   I have spent too much time in my life worrying about things that don’t matter when I can put my focus on what really matters.   This is so hard for me because I can’t handle stepping out of my comfort zone.  A relationship with God is not an easy one.  My relationship has brought me great trials, but also great joy.

I grew up knowing that there was a God, but I wasn’t a follower.  I never really had the complete desire to read the bible and understand it.  I still struggle with reading the bible, but I have the strong desire to understand it.  I have the desire to gain the knowledge of God’s word, but I have allowed my heart to be divided in this area.  I say allowed because I let my insecurities and the everyday living control a big portion of heart.  I want to control the situation and I have been more concerned with my comfort level.   I don’t want to people to think I’m CRAZY!  Well I kind of am, (LOL) but I’m not a loud mouth Christian trying to push God down peoples throat.  I understand that we all are different and at different places in our life.  I’m a good person with a good heart and just want others to see how God has changed my heart and how he can change your heart.

I know this is so bad to say, but sometimes I feel like it would much easier to walk away from my faith because of the hardship that it can bring at times.  I would never do that because I have truly felt the presence of God and know that he is real.  I have built some amazing relationships with several women.  I have an awesome church family and our small group is AMAZING.  God has even given me my best friend to share this journey.

So what divides your heart?  I shared a few areas of struggle, but I assure you there are more.  At the retreat one of the speakers spoke about us all being under construction.  I LOVED it!  So guess what guys, I’m under construction.  Are you? Do you want to be?  It’s ok if the times not right for you, but your missing out!

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lack of anything.

Captivating

A girlfriend of mine and I have talked lately about the BIG 30.  I really dislike putting numbers with things in my life, but for some reason I feel more challenged now than ever. Maybe it’s me, but I’m having a hard time transitioning myself into this new area in my life.  Should I have already been here?  I think so, but I don’t feel like I really got to pick.  I believe that we all go through these stages at different times in our life and we all deal with them differently.  So far 30 has been very challenging!
Is it that leap from what I thought was womanhood to what being a woman is all about?  I recently started reading “Captivating”, a book for women.  What I love about reading is that I never know where it’s going to lead me.  You and I can read the same book, but walk away with a different feeling.  I remember walking into the book store to buy this book and the cashier expressing her opinions of it.   I didn’t really know the woman who was selling me the book, but I did leave the store with that little voice in my head saying “I hope I can read this boring book”.  What I didn’t realize was that this book would lead me on a new adventure.
This book has opened my heart to so many things.  Most  women I know want to be seen a s strong.  We don't need any help!  We have things under control and we will be just fine.   In the book she refers to that women who applies some lip gloss just before arriving to an event, the closer she gets the more times she applies the lip gloss.  That was me, I saw myself in those words.  The one constantly worrying about if I was in order before I arrived somewhere.  I’m that woman doing the continuous applying in so many ways of my life.  How many times do you do this very same thing?  I’m sure if you examined your life you could find different areas where you worry to much.
Who is responsible for shaping a woman's soul?   I believe that a lot of things play into the shaping of someone, but parents are the BIGGEST shapers.  I’m the women that my parents shaped as a little girl, and I've grown into this woman through all the good and challenging times I've had growing up.   What mattered most was that I always knew that I was loved and needed!  My parent’s always gave me that feeling, and I hope that I give my kids'  that feeling.  I’m sure I do, but I think it’s easy to get caught up in everyday life that I sometimes lose sight of what matters most.
When I first sat down to read this book I thought that it was for me, but really it’s for my daughter.  This book is teaching me about who I have become and how big of an impact I have on her soul.  I love her  innocence, and I want so badly for her  to keep that for as long as she can!
P.S. I've only made it through 4 chapters, so I’m excited to see what else is in store for me!  So stay tuned, I truly believe that God placed this book in my hands for many reasons!

Is spring really here?

How did everyone spend the first day of Spring?
The Norman’s spent the day with some friends at Giant City State park.
A little picnic lunch, some hiking, and some baseball with the kiddos!

Understanding People

Have you ever jumped to a conclusion without knowing both sides of the story? What about failing to give someone the benefit of the doubt when they have never wronged you or even if they had?
I’m working on seeing others from another set of eye’s.  I have a wonderful husband who’s pretty good about letting me see things from another view.  Countless times I’ve been in situations where I hear things or view things and instantly form an opinion.  I may have even engaged in conversation about what I had heard or viewed and then we all formed an opinion.  I think it’s easy to form that opinion, but wrong!  No, I’m not perfect!  Yes, I’m guilty of this!
Have you ever thought about how the world would be if we all understood each other?  I would like to think that it would be more peaceful, but maybe not.  Maybe it  would be complete chaos!   How can we truly know someone’s thought process without being that person?  We can’t possibly know what everyone’s thinking.  Would it really matter if we could?  I’ve always been told that there’s two sides to every story, but I think there’s more.  Anytime we're involved in another individual’s business wheels star spinning and people leave with an opinion.
What’s sad is that we form this opinion without walking a day in their shoe’s.  I’m working on being careful in these situations.  Maybe that’s why God gave me a husband that does exactly that.  My husband is so good at talking me through my thought’s.  Marshall's thought process is different from mine.  Most of the time he turns the situation for me to see another view.  Imagine that! (LOL).  No, I respect him for that!  We all think differently, I’m not always right,  and I can’t continue to judge situations from how I see them.
We all make poor decisions throughout our lives and have to pay the price for those decisions.  More times than not the pain of those decisions is enough to endure without others causing more pain.  It’s not our place to judge other’s decisions.  How do we know their challenges?  No one is perfect in this world.   Let people be who they are without your opinion.   Allow people to grow and learn the best way they can in life.  Choose to accept others for who they are and help when you can.    Maybe even choose to love that person and be true to them instead.  After all we're responsible for ourselves and our families no one else’s.
So, I’m choosing to leave situations or conversations feeling comfortable and having a peace.  I choose to not walk away with doubt and carry that uneasy feeling with me.  I’m going to try my best to look at things from another set of eye’s.
We don’t always know people’s hardships, and what they are dealing with or have dealt with.  I just think it would be nice to look at the big picture and to not cast judgment on what we think the situation is.  In the end…..Do we really know the story anyway?
James 1:19  "My beloved brethren, discern carefully.  Let each person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Saturday morning scene!

Saturday morning play date with Play-Doh!

Thanks Miss. Riley for joining the Norman's on this lovely day!

Fantastic Friday

Husband's work

Always wanted to do before & after pictures of the new addition, so here it is.

Marshall’s Do-It-Yourself-Project

Husband is very handy!

My favorite Room!!!!!

Little Miss picked out her colors!

Not really my pick of colors, but I figure your only a kid once!

Accountability

My mom always told me “April no matter what you are doing someone is always watching you”.  It wasn’t until recently that this statement really hit home.  I look back to my college days and remember trying to grasp everything from reading a book to what a professor had said, but most of what I’ve learned was by observation.  I had to do an internship in both of my degrees and learned so much by watching. 

I believe as a Christian you have to live a life that sets an example for others.  I think that when someone doesn’t know God or have a relationship with him they will see those who claim to have that relationship.  People will learn more by watching your example than from what they read or hear. It's not easy to lead by example!  Nobody is perfect and we all fail at times, yep even Christians!  Some think that being a Christian means that you have it all together (big misconception).  Being a Christian simply means that you have a love for God and want to live life for him.   I’m no psychologist but I know that life is a learning process.  We all have hurdles that we have to overcome and challenges that we face, the important thing is how we handle those situations.  Will I pick myself back up and learn from my mistakes?  Will I take responsibility and be accountable for my actions? 

This is the hardest part, because we tend to push the blame away from us.  We try to prove our actions to ourselves and others until we get the approval from that one person who makes us think that what we did or said was ok.  I know this from my own personal experiences and continue to work on this.  We all go through a process of learning before getting things right and we learn the most from our mistakes.  How can we succeed in life if we’ve never failed?  Most people who succeed have done so by learning from their failures.

It’s important to stay in control when the going gets tough.  I feel like I'm always being tested in this area.   People (including myself) don’t like the feeling of having to admit wrong doing.  This is true in any situation!  It’s easier to blame someone else or to avoid the situation.  What kind of person would I be if I ran all the time?  The bigger person will admit their wrong doing!  So today I’m saying that I’m not perfect and I fail at times.  I’m working on doing better in this area and have learned a great deal by taking responsibility.  It’s important to have people in your life that will not just agree with you all the time and go with the flow.  I think you’re the better person when you do the right thing even when it’s not comfortable.  Once again it’s all about being a good person!

Family vacation booked...

This is where I'll be in June!!!!!!!!

Gulf Shores Alabama

Check out this view! 

Oh My!  I'm so glad it's booked.  I never realized how difficult it could be to plan a vacation for three families. 

Let's just say it wasn't easy for everyone to agree!

Destin or Gulf Shores?

House or Condo?

On the beach or off?

May or June?

Length of stay!

Budget...

We managed to agree though!  So 2 of my brothers and their families will be joining us on a trip for 4 nights to a lovely house directly on the beach in Gulf Shores Alabama! 

I'm super excited to make some memories