Captivating

A girlfriend of mine and I have talked lately about the BIG 30.  I really dislike putting numbers with things in my life, but for some reason I feel more challenged now than ever. Maybe it’s me, but I’m having a hard time transitioning myself into this new area in my life.  Should I have already been here?  I think so, but I don’t feel like I really got to pick.  I believe that we all go through these stages at different times in our life and we all deal with them differently.  So far 30 has been very challenging!
Is it that leap from what I thought was womanhood to what being a woman is all about?  I recently started reading “Captivating”, a book for women.  What I love about reading is that I never know where it’s going to lead me.  You and I can read the same book, but walk away with a different feeling.  I remember walking into the book store to buy this book and the cashier expressing her opinions of it.   I didn’t really know the woman who was selling me the book, but I did leave the store with that little voice in my head saying “I hope I can read this boring book”.  What I didn’t realize was that this book would lead me on a new adventure.
This book has opened my heart to so many things.  Most  women I know want to be seen a s strong.  We don't need any help!  We have things under control and we will be just fine.   In the book she refers to that women who applies some lip gloss just before arriving to an event, the closer she gets the more times she applies the lip gloss.  That was me, I saw myself in those words.  The one constantly worrying about if I was in order before I arrived somewhere.  I’m that woman doing the continuous applying in so many ways of my life.  How many times do you do this very same thing?  I’m sure if you examined your life you could find different areas where you worry to much.
Who is responsible for shaping a woman's soul?   I believe that a lot of things play into the shaping of someone, but parents are the BIGGEST shapers.  I’m the women that my parents shaped as a little girl, and I've grown into this woman through all the good and challenging times I've had growing up.   What mattered most was that I always knew that I was loved and needed!  My parent’s always gave me that feeling, and I hope that I give my kids'  that feeling.  I’m sure I do, but I think it’s easy to get caught up in everyday life that I sometimes lose sight of what matters most.
When I first sat down to read this book I thought that it was for me, but really it’s for my daughter.  This book is teaching me about who I have become and how big of an impact I have on her soul.  I love her  innocence, and I want so badly for her  to keep that for as long as she can!
P.S. I've only made it through 4 chapters, so I’m excited to see what else is in store for me!  So stay tuned, I truly believe that God placed this book in my hands for many reasons!